The Damage a Kiss can do
by thegeniusofitall
Summary: Rogue is dealing with some strong emotions for Gambit and he is, of course. oblivious to it all. Jealousy runs rampant. Also contains Rogue and Storm friendship.
1. Gambit and Rogue

I'm not too certain about most things involving myself anymore, but of these two things I am: Remy LaBeau loves me and I love him. I know he loves me because he told me in the Savage Lands. He has no idea how I feel about him though. Anytime I'm near him I call him a swamp rat or hit him. It seems nearly impossible for me to show Gambit how I feel. I will always know his true feelings because of that haunting kiss when we were in the Savage Lands, when things between the Cajun and I get too hard that is what I fall back to.

Days like yesterday are when I treasure that moment the most. It was just an average practice session in the garden. Ororo and I were training up some potentials, the students who had shown they might be perfect to take over for Scott and Jean while they were gone on their second try at a honeymoon. I had barely even worked them up into a sweat when that damn Cajun just crashed through the bushes, walking like he had not a care in the world.

"The heck do you think you're doin', swamp rat? Can't you see we're trainin here?"

That cocky smile of his came out just like that, he knew it would charm the pissed off kids. "Aw, chére, Gambit was just missin' your sweet face."

Ororo, being my best friend knew that would have made me happy if it were any other time (even if he was trying not to get himself hit), so of course she had a small smile on her lips. "Gambit, please, we are training our future replacements. Please refrain from such actions." Leave it to Oro to be businesslike.

"Yeah, get out of here, Gambit." I gave him a dirty look and he just smiled at me, making my insides melt. Damn him. "Ah mean it, swamp rat. Go on, get." He shrugged and made a show of bowing before he headed for the door. He handed me a queen of hearts before leaving though, his lucky lady. He did little things like that and it made me want to kiss him, but the damage that could do always made me stop. I pushed him away for his safety, why didn't he get that?

The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. The session came and went; the lesson with Logan went by without interruption. Everything was going as it should. Ororo and I went out for dinner, had some nice sandwiches at a new deli in the city, not a single anti-mutant event to ruin it. If it hadn't been for the sight of Gambit with another woman strolling across the street the day would have been perfect. The other woman couldn't have been over twenty-five and she was breathtaking: tall, blonde, ice blue eyes, a dead ringer for Emma Frost. I felt Oro's hand on my shoulder and I gave her a small smile. "Ah couldn't expect him to wait forever, could Ah?"

Oro just gave me a concerned look but I grinned at her, I wasn't going to get depressed and ruin my good day. "Let's get back to the mansion, maybe we can squeeze in another training session with Logan?"

The white haired woman just laughed and shook her head. "My dear Rogue, you will be on your own for that, I am afraid. One session with Logan a day is enough for me." I could tell from her eyes she knew I was putting on airs, but being the wonderful person that she is, she didn't press me. We simply headed back. I never did go talk to Logan, just went to my room.

Today was going to be better, the dumb man wasn't going to get to me, I wouldn't let on that I saw him with his bimbo and he wasn't going to know how it had bothered me. As I pulled on my new gloves that Logan had given me since he ruined my other pair I forced on a smile. The gloves were nice, thinner than her old pair; Logan had actually tried with this pair. I could actually sort of feel people's skin in these, minus the horrible event that would follow were I without them. Not to mention they were a nice shade of green. I pulled up my hair and trudged out of my cave to meet the day.

The kitchen was empty except for Emma, but she hardly ever spoke to me, she mostly spoke to Scott or Bobby. I gave her a light wave which she replied to with a curt smile and went back to her newspaper. She had quite the scratch on her shoulder, probably from a furious Kitty. Emma was going to have to learn not to goad her. I fixed a cup of coffee and sat across the table from the blonde. "How are you doin', Emma?"

To my surprise, she actually answered me; usually she just shrugged and ignored me. "I'm alive, so I would consider that a good day. And you Rogue?"

"Not bad, seeing as I just started."

Emma smiled a bit and then placed her paper on the table, folded in half. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind sparring with me later, without your gloves. I have been curious for a while as to whether your powers would affect me in diamond form. If you would rather not risk anything, I understand perfectly."

I tapped my mug as I considered, it would be a different experience. I had never even sparred with Emma before, but with all the turmoil and chaos out there in the world I could understand her desire to test her limits. It did sting a bit that she was only talking to me because she wanted something though. "Alright, but if things go bad we're stopping, alright?"

"Of course, I will meet you in the Danger Room at two, if that works for you." I nodded and she stood and left, leaving her paper. I sighed and slid the paper closer and just skimmed as I drank my coffee in silence. I was swimming in my thoughts and staring into space, so of course I never heard Remy come into the kitchen.

"Chére, you're up early." He plopped himself down right beside me, laughing as I jumped a bit. I glowered at him and went back to the paper, though I hadn't really even been reading it for a while now. "Rogue, why the long face? Did Gambit offend?"

I put the paper on the table and turned to face him, making the mistake of looking into those red and black eyes. "Ah'm tryin' to read the news, go scamper off somewhere, Remy."

He then proceeded to take the paper from me and turn my chair to face him. "Rogue, you've been like this for a while, why are you so mad at Gambit?" He actually looked upset, like I was the one hurting him. Well, maybe I was, but he was the one who started all of this. I would have been fine never knowing how he felt, assuming this was a one-sided love. Knowing we felt the same and couldn't be together was worse than unrequited love.

Before I could control my mouth the woman from last night popped into my head and I blurted it out. "Maybe because you were out with an Emma Frost look-a-like last night when you supposedly care about me?" Damn, there I went blurting out just how jealous I really was.

He looked confused for a second but then he seemed to get what I was talking about. "I was out with Emma last night, but it isn't what you think now, chére. Emma hasn't been to the city in while and with all the mutant hate going on she didn't want to go by herself. Remy has eyes only for you."

A snort came from me at the mention of Emma not wanting to go somewhere alone. The woman could turn into a diamond, what the heck did she have to be scared of. "And Ah'm sure she only wanted to go to dinner, or she only wanted to go to the ice rink in Times Square, or to a dark, secluded place."

"Rogue, Remy is telling the truth. We only went to a few stores and then came back."

"Gambit, that woman is a spider who wants everyone else's flies."

Remy sighed and then leaned closer to me, causing my heart to quicken. How was he always so calm with her? Shouldn't he feel all of these things too, if he did love her, that is. "If you won't listen then I may have to take extreme measures." I raised my eyebrow at him and then he put his palms on either side of my face, he had on those fingerless gloves like he always did. He moved closer and his lips touched mine for just a second, just long enough for me to feel them and then they were gone. He grinned like the idiot he was and all I could think to do was slug him in the gut and then I bolted out of the kitchen, leaving him there to think about what he did.

Now that was three times we had kissed. The first time was when Morph had tricked him, the second in the Savage Lands, and now because I was a jealous river rat. All three of these he had initiated, all three had been a surprise. All three made me love him and hate him all the more.


	2. Frost and Rogue

Part two of my story. Emma and Rogue.

Needless to say I was avoiding Remy for a good half of the day, until I had a little talk with Miss Frost, that is. I just couldn't trust her near him, not after the drama she created with Piotr and Kitty. Granted that Remy and I aren't actually together, but pretty much everyone knows that there's something between us. But then, what if he decided to drop me like an angry snapping turtle? I can't even touch him, after all. And he is a man, he wasn't going to hang around forever.

Thoughts like that were running through my head all day until two o'clock when I was supposed to meet Emma. Whether or not we were just going to talk or if I was going to 'accidentally' touch her before she was ready was still up in the air. I wanted to know the truth, but I wasn't sure I was going to like it. But I sure as hell wasn't about to lose him to her.

When I entered the Danger Room, Emma was already there, chatting with Logan. A few bruised and tired looking kids were leaving and I guessed they must have had the misfortune of being in one of his Danger Room sessions, they were always brutal. Poor kids. Frost and Logan both looked at me when I came in, usually not a good sign. I smiled at Logan, he had always been a good friend to me. Emma merely walked to the other side of the room.

I stopped to talk to Logan, still not sure what I was going to do when Emma and I were alone. "Hey there, sugah."

"Hi, Rogue. Try not to drain the telepath dry, alright?" Despite his appearance and horrible hair style, Logan was actually quite smart. He knew what Rogue was up to and he was giving her a warning. Not that Logan would ever do anything to Rogue, honestly she was his favorite. As many times as she had 'borrowed' his healing abilities and saw his mind, she knew that.

Logan left and I finally went over to Emma, no more stalling. She looked me straight in the eye and smirked. "To answer that question you keep screaming in your head, you're right. No man would stick around for a woman he can't even touch."

And then it was like something in my head snapped. I lunged at the stupid blonde and used every bit of strength I had stolen from Ms. Marvel to punch her in the gut. I heard the satisfying whoosh of her losing her breath, I stepped back and glared down at her, she had crumpled to the floor, trying to breathe. "Ah don't know what your problem is, diamond, but mah business with Remy is mah own and you need to keep out of mah head."

The woman began to get back on her feet, her breathing a little more normal now. She just glared at me and then I began to feel the pressure of her mind on my own. I began to try and push her out; the professor had been training all of us to control our minds. But I had never been good with this, Frost was winning. All I had was brute strength to help me. But then the thought came to me and I yanked off one of my gloves, fighting Emma's control. I grabbed the other woman around the wrist and squeezed.

The pressure in my head was lessening, and I was seeing parts of Emma she had never dreamed I would. Emma had a thing for Scott, but no interest in Remy. All the woman had wanted to do was to piss me off. After a moment I released my grip and we both crumbled to the floor. My thoughts and Emma's were blending together in a jumbled up mess. I was sweating and panting, Emma seemed to be unconscious. So much for a civil training session. I pushed myself to my feet, when my legs began to wobble I began to hover. I rarely flew unless I needed to, but my legs weren't going to support me. Exhausted, I flew to my room, locked the door, and passed out.

It felt like only minutes but it had to have been hours after the incident with Emma when there was a pounding on my door. I looked at the small clock beside my bed and then cursed. It was actually only three, I had barely been asleep an hour.

The banging was turning into pounding so I dragged myself out of my comfy bed and opened the door, prepared to beat someone bloody. But the person who had been banging was none other than Emma herself, and boy did she look angry.

"You have better have a good excuse for leaving me in the Danger Room unconscious. And don't lie and say you were too tired to carry me, you have all of Ms. Marvel's strength."

A scowl and a glare were both marring my face at this point. She seriously came to bother me for a damn apology? I slammed the door in her face and relocked it. "Ah left your ass in there to reflect on what you did. Now go away." I then turned and returned to my bed, ignoring the angry words muffled by the door.

I woke up to another round of door knocking, but this one far more civil than Emma's. My clock read nine, so I figured I had better get up anyways. The slight electricity of the air behind my door tipped my off to the fact that it was Remy. I stopped before I reached it and then took a step back. Was I ready to see him? What if he was here to yell at me? I sighed and then forced myself to open the door. I was just going to have to accept the consequences of my actions.

Remy was leaning against the door frame and didn't look to be upset or even irritated. He looked calm and had a shadow of a smirk on his lips. "So, river rat, since when do you try to put people into comas?"

"Ah never tried to put her in a coma! She just pissed me off and so I punched her."

"And then you grabbed her wrist with your bare hand, which by the way, is still bare."

I looked down at my right hand and realized he was right, my glove was gone. I was going to have to get that glove from the DR later. "Ah wasn't plannin' on doing anythin' to her until she started pressin' in on mah mind! Go bother her."

Remy just smiled and reached into a pocket of his trench coat, he pulled out her missing glove and handed it to her. "Gambit wasn't criticizing, chére, just suggesting you not leave her in the most dangerous room in the place next time."

"Fine, next time I will carry the whore away."

He straightened up from his easy lean and frowned at her. "Why do you hate her so much?"

"Ah just do. Why are you always doing confusing things and making me hate that Ah can't touch you?" Oh, well that was smooth. I had just confessed somewhat of my feelings. Jealousy was just a horrible thing.

"Jealousness, now that's something Gambit never thought he'd see from you." I could feel my cheeks reddening, but I wasn't sure if it was from embarrassment or anger at him being so casual about all of this. With a huff I turned away from him and stalked towards my bed. He followed me like a puppy. "Come on now, Rogue, don't be angry at Gambit."

"Ah'm not angry, Ah'm annoyed."

A chuckle came from him and I wanted to slug him. He then proceeded to wrap his arms around my waist. I lost all thoughts of hitting him. Automatically I leaned back into his chest. If I hadn't been kissed by him before I could probably live with just embraces like this, but I knew the feel of his lips and I wanted them again. We stayed like this for a while, just standing in my room with the door wide open, him hugging me from behind. And then he kissed the top of my head, let me go, and left.

I felt cold as soon as he backed away, but I wasn't going to ask him to come back. I wanted him to come back, but I was never going to ask. I had a doomed love for him and he sent clear signals that he cared. But what use was caring if you could never touch without a glove? As much as I wanted to just hold hands with him—naked hand touching naked hand— I couldn't.

And then it struck me. I could in the Savage Lands.


	3. Voice of Reason

I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. Back when Mr. Sinister had taken all of us captive, back when Gambit told me he loved me, my powers were gone. I was able to touch and be touched. I felt my hopes flaming within my chest. I had to go talk to Oro—she could go with me, see if it was the same.

I slipped on the glove Gambit had returned and went in search of Ororo, though I had a suspicion she would be tending to her plants. Oro had a small patch of garden up on the roof, where only nature and not clumsy people could destroy it. She had one on one of the balconies but then Bobby had fallen on it and crushed her beautiful azaleas, she had been pretty upset. So now she keeps them away from everyone.

When I found my friend she was mumbling to her primroses. She did that every now and then, I had caught her singing to her tomatoes once. Ororo was good with plants and people. I had my moments with people but I couldn't keep a garden alive to save my life, I had a black thumb of death whereas Oro had the green one. As if sensing my thoughts, Oro looked up and then back to her garden.

"Hello, Rogue. What brings you up here?"

"Strom, Ah need you to take me to the Savage Lands. Ah have to test something."

The white haired woman sighed and looked me in the eyes before shaking her head, strands of her long hair falling into her face as they came free from her loose braid. "I cannot do that, my friend. We both know that it is too dangerous."

I knew she was right, I did. The Savage Lands were crawling with dangerous things like dinosaurs and that freaky guy who turned into a pterodactyl. But when we were there the professor could walk, I could touch people. And again, in her strange Ororo way my friend seemed to have read my mind. "Rogue, Mr. Sinister's machine was destroyed. Your abilities would still be present and very much active." I knew she was right, but my heart was still crushed and I was angry. I felt her place a comforting hand on my right arm. And then I realized that the familiar hum I had been hearing wasn't out loud. Oro was humming in her head. I was actually reading her mind!

I concentrated on blocking her out; it was an invasion of privacy to read someone's mind. I hated when people did it to me, so why would I do it to someone else? I smiled at my friend. "Ah know you're right, but how could Ah not try? Is it so bad to want to feel normal for once?"

I felt more than saw the sadness on her face. Storm knew what I was feeling. She had been worshipped as a goddess in Africa when all she wanted was to be treated like everyone else. Both of us knew what it was to be feared. I was full of self-loathing while Ororo was full of anger. Not that she would ever say it out loud, but I could see it in her mind, though I was trying not to.

"Anna Marie, I know things are difficult, but you must power through this. If you simply give up hope, you would not be the person you are."

I sighed and nodded. Being Ororo the white haired woman rarely gave hugs, but she gave me one. I hugged her back and then smiled at her weakly. "Thanks, Or. Ah'm gonna go get some food." It hit me that I actually hadn't eaten anything at all today.

After I left the roof I went immediately to the kitchen. I caught Kitty drinking out of the milk carton again and I gave her a scowl. She looked at me sheepishly and then put the milk back. "Well there goes my secret."

"Sugah, we all know you do that." It was the truth, she had gotten caught by half of the mansion. Kitty giggled and then walked through the cabinets like the goofy kid she was. Kitty had grown up quite a bit in the last few years since she first came here but she was just a kid still, barely into her twenties.

I shook my head and got out some bread and went about making myself a grilled cheese sandwich. I could hear stray thoughts ever y now and again while I cooked even though I was trying to block them out. How did the professor and Emma handle this every day? At the thought of Emma I frowned, if I could hear thoughts could I also go all diamond-y? I looked around the kitchen and then focused on trying. My hand became a diamond like I had seen Emma's do in countless training sessions and battles.

"Well, that is rather impressive, chére."

I jumped at the sound of Gambit's voice. Why was he always able to sneak up on me? I quickly placed the sandwich I had made on my plate. It had gotten slightly burnt while I was turning my hand to a diamond. I turned around to look at Remy as I turned off the burner.

"Testing out the spoils of your little outburst?"

I frowned at him for bringing that up. I already felt like crap for it but he had to bring it up like I had forgotten. I turned away from him and angrily took a bite of my sandwich. Stupid swamp rat.

I felt his arms go around my waist and fought the smile, I was mad at him and he knew it. I leaned back into his chest without even thinking about it, he was just comfortable as heck. He was just trying to get himself out of trouble. He placed his head on my shoulder and spoke into my ear. That damn bastard. "You know, I don't blame you for what you did. I know how Emma can get under your skin when she wants to."

I took another bite of my sandwich to avoid talking to him. I wanted to stay mad at him; he always got away with everything. I just couldn't stay angry at him. I bit back a smile as he reached one of his hands up to take mine. He was definitely getting away with everything again. "Remy, Ah'm trying to eat."

I could feel him smile into my shoulder and felt myself smile in return. His smile was infectious. I took another bite and he played with my fingers. I noticed that for once he wasn't wearing his gloves. I found that odd because he always had them, even when he wasn't in his X-suit. His tan lines were funny though.

I set my sandwich down and turned to look at him. He was still as gorgeous as he always was (as if in a few hours he would somehow become less so). I smiled at him and put my head on his broad chest. "Remy, Ah'm sorry Ah'm always so violent with you."

I refused to look up at him, I was pretty sure he was laughing. I didn't hear anything though. I bit my lip nervously and then used Emma's power and I took a glimpse into Remy's mind. But then he blocked me out. Clearly one of us had been able to do what the prof had been trying to teach us.

"Now Rogue, that isn't nice. Stay out of my head, please."

I just nodded my head. Then and Idea came to me. I took off my glove and turned it into diamond. I reached up with uncertainty and touched Remy's face. I didn't get anything from him, nothing. In diamond form I couldn't hurt him! I looked up at him in amazement. "Ah can touch you! Ah can touch you and not hurt you!" I was grinning like an idiot but I didn't care.

Remy placed his hand over mine and just smiled. "That's nice and all, but Gambit doesn't want to kiss a diamond. Gambit wants to kiss you."

I sighed and brought my hand back down. He would find a way to ruin this. Now I really was pissed at him, I wanted to make sure he knew it too. I reached up and grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him. I kissed him long enough to give him a good jolt before I pulled away. "Remy, you really are a no good swamp rat."

I spun on my heel and slammed the frying pan I had been using into the sink before I turned back to the man. He was looking a bit dazed and wasn't moving. I didn't usually use my abilities against him, well other than my strength. I never drained him though, so he really wasn't used to that. Not that you could, I have taken from Logan I don't know how many times and he still wasn't used to it.

Then a wave of Gambit's emotions flooded my brain. Memories of his, his feelings, his dreams. Then I felt a tingle on my fingers and saw the familiar pink energy and I shoved it down. I had far too many people in my head. Emma, Logan, Remy, Ms. Marvel, Ororo, Sabertooth, Mystique, Mesmero, Magneto, etc. The list went on and on. So many people screaming in my head. So many abilities at my fingers if I concentrated. I couldn't handle this. I felt myself becoming less of me. I gripped my head and crumpled to the head. I was losing myself. I curled tightly into a ball, trying to remember _my_ hopes, _my_ dreams, what _I _wanted to do with _my_ life! I felt like I was disappearing slowly while all these others were taking over my body. It was my fault that Ms. Marvel was in a coma, my fault that she wasn't the person she was.

I was on the floor for I don't know how long before I felt a hand touch the top of my head and heard Professor X's voice inside of my head. _Rogue, listen to my voice, find my voice. Don't lose yourself._

I was concentrating on his voice as best as I could but so many others were in my head. But I clung to the familiar, fatherly voice of the professor. I refused to lose myself. I was Anna Marie, I was Rogue. I wasn't anyone else. I felt the professor locking away those other minds, taking them out of my head as best as he could. He was saving my sanity. Professor X always was there, he and Logan were her saviors. And Remy, Remy saved me from being like Mystique. Remy kept me grounded. I had so many lifelines, I was never going to lose myself.


End file.
